Adventures in Dermatology pt 1

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So I bit the proverbial and went to see a dermatologist about my ongoing skin cancer stuff. Some of you might know I had a melanoma removed a few years ago and also some basal cell carcinomas. I’ve been keeping a close eye on the bcc’s on my face and one in particular on the tip of my nose (makes nasagra drishti easy cos I can see it) which bleeds periodically. With my beloved for support I went to the professional dude who quickly diagnosed some solar keratoses amongst the multiple bcc’s. The treatment is as I expected; chemotherapy cream and then surgery. The cream sounds pretty nasty and was described as ’roundup’ to kill off the cancer weeds. Nice. I am not keen on spraying roundup on my face but I get the picture, it’s a sensible choice to make as it will minimise the chunks of face they have to cut out later. Sooooo I’m feeling raw and vulnerable already as I contemplate a month of no makeup and the likely reaction of my skin. The doc says it will be very red and ‘angry’ (I’m highly pitta dominant anyway so that’s kinda normal for me) and rather unsightly for a few weeks. Part of me wants to hide out and not face the world while the cream does it’s ugly work. I will take a break from seeing clients but unless it’s unbearable I’ll show up for my yoga and anatomy students. I’m all about wellness in mind and body and I think the lesson here is in being genuinely vulnerable and trusting that people are essentially kind. Luckily my face is not my fortune and I can actually do my work no matter how I look. So if you see me bare faced, inflamed and maybe pustulous, feel free to ask me about what’s happening but be gentle. I’m scared to be so naked yet I can feel a glimmer of light in this process. Maybe it will be liberating to not wear any kind of mask. Certainly it ensures my happiness is internally focused. I look forward to seeing you, and you seeing me, bcc’s and all.

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About wellatanysize

Yoga teacher, yoga student, naturopath, mama, lecturer, some time writer, now blogger, I am interested in all things wellness. Currently on summer break before my last semester of Master of Wellness at RMIT, I'm writing this blog to share my ideas about living well no matter what size you are. It's an expansion of the Healthy At Every Size concept to include the whole gamut of mind body wellness.

4 responses »

  1. Hello my old and dear friend. You have been on my mind for the a long time, but like an alarm clock in this last week. And for no particular reason, despite never checking facebook these days, felt compelled to do so this morning, and then to see your blog. Now I know why.

    Honey, we don’t do regular catchups of late, but that doesn’t change how I feel about you, and our relationship. You are my sister, close and connected on levels that have travelled us around together physically and spiritually. I love your blog, because it makes a public statement about the thing I already know. Your internal flame is bright and strong, supplying words that help both lead and warm your readers.

    Know too, my cherished friend, that I am your companion in internal focus. These bcc’s are located on the outermost layer of my many layered, multi-dimensional sister. Take the time and space you need for you to feel comfortable; but know, please, that I am here for the long haul. I didn’t get made scorpio for nothing.
    Love you.
    Radhika

  2. Chandrika, this was a brave post to publish. Thanks for your honesty. We love you for you. We will be with you along the way. Stay strong. All our love P & L

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